Saturday, January 30, 2010

The eunuch episode

Yesterday, enroute to Andheri station, my auto rikshaw's stuck in a traffic jam ...
... so far it was just another day in [paradise?...not really... but i love that song! :) ]

yes, it was another day in the life of the average Mumbai citizen ... spending half of one's working life in the horrible commute ... yawn ... nothing much to do but stare at all the ditches on what were once lovely tarred roads ...

I could only imagine what wonders would emerge from these ditches -- maybe a flyover here, a footover there, the entrance to the planned metro railway there --- hey, could some of these ditches be hijacked by anti social elements? --- I can imagine a phone call to the powers that be "Give us Rs.1 crore if you want this ditch back ... otherwise we will fill it with concrete!! ... not the silly putty that your lame contracters use to pave the roads... we have real concrete!!!" If no one else, at least the water mafia will pay up and take control of the ditch and sell the "mineral" water :)

Anways, I decided to use the latest "value" talkplan that the cell phone rep had sweet talked me into... i decided to use the traffic jam to network ...

[my boss used to say "when you are not working, you should be networking". He changed his stance when the IT department complained that most of his minions spent office time on Facebook and Orkut... they had taken the 'not working - networking mantra' to heart, I guess :) ... ]

anyways, so as I started scrolling through my contacts list, wondering who I should call, I heard the voice that so many in Mumbai dread ... the voice of a eunuch 'requesting' me to pay some cold cash for some warm blessings ... of course, if I did'nt pay, I may be spat upon, slapped, or [if I am lucky], cursed to hottest part of hell...

But, I was too damn bored and did'nt want to part with any money... so I ignored the first "request"... but he/she was persistent and asked again ... and this time added my last name to the request ... but, as this word is also commonly used, I did not respond ... but the third time around, I was shocked ... the request was ...

"Hey Anup [Last Name concealed on request], give me some money... dont be so damn stingy!"

I was shocked .. I had heard that eunuchs have magical powers... powers to bless and curse... powers to see the soul through the eyes ... [okay, okay, so maybe I am exaggerating here :) ]

Anyways, before the scaredy cat in me said "meow, I'll give you all the money you want!", I realized the source of the eunuch's magical power to guess my name....


... I had forgotten to take off the identity card that was hanging around my neck! Apparently, eunuchs in Mumbai are English-literate :)

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I dont know if I will return to active blogging... but, I couln't coming back for this one as my wife found this incident too damn funny... cheers to all and to all a god day!!!

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