Friday, August 18, 2006

Was it worth it?

"What are you doing here, Max?"

Without glancing behind, he quickly wipes his face and wearily starts getting up.

"Nothing" ... he mumbles
"... the traffic just keeps getting worse doesn't it? I don't feel like leaving work, just thinking of the commute ... just look at that Jules ... its crazy, na?"

"Yes ..." she says, of the birds-eye view of bumper to bumper traffic.

"But thats not why you were out here all alone at the stairwell now, was it?"

"I was just tired Jules ... these crazy hours are getting to me."

"Same here, Max ... I'm tired too ... why don't you sit down?"

They remain silent for a while ... looking at the slow pilgrimage outside ... as red and the occasional neon lights shone through the falling darkness

... then abruptly, Julia asked the inevitable ...

"Was it worth it?"

He doesn't reply

"I was afraid this would happen, Max ... I'm so sorry. But I'd warned you not to get so emotionally attached to her, didn't I?. And now she's done it again. Why don't you learn from your mistakes? Why are you so blind to the obvious ... that she never loved you? ... that she was only using you?"

His gaze remains fixed at the pilgrimage outside

"I'm sorry Max ... its just so frustrating to see someone mess with you like this ... "

He turns to her and holds her gaze for a while ... then

"Yes it is frustrating to be used ... to have genuine love and affection trampled on ... but I knew it all along too ... I knew she never really cared ... but I still played along ... I knew it would only lead to this ... but I chose to have her in my life for a lil' more time ... I was selfish and spineless ... I refused to cut my losses and run when I should have ... so I deserve this, Jules ... I deserve this ... it's not her fault ..."

"Don't blame yourself Max ... please don't ... it was only natural for you to have behaved that way ... love does that ... make one behave irrationally quite often ..."

"Hey you two! ... DC wants those staus reports ... get in here!!! "

they turn their backs to the pilgrimage outside ... and walk towards airconditioned comfort ... and just before they enter, Max says ...

"Yes ... it was worth the effort ... Love always is ..."

-----
Seeing her smile was worth the time and the effort and the emotional investment ... For me, Love is never about what you get ... When someone becomes the object of your affection (viz. when u love someone), they may not deserve it ... and they may never recompense ... but until you lavish your affection, you just don't feel right ... so I give love every chance I can ... even if I'm looked on as being irrational ... even when I know it could lead to hurt ... I'd rather give Love a chance today rather than wonder "what-if I had?" tommorow ... This poet will keep looking for his rhyme ... :)

Have a gr8 weekend ya all!!!

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11 Comments:

Blogger SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Man....U r just amazing...Everytime I keep telling my self dont give love to those who dont know wht it is....Ur like a hero and u have wht is called unconditional love. I am in awe....U r genuiene nature will be your strongest assest always man, it may take time but u r a very nice guy! :)

9:49 AM  
Blogger Dalicia said...

how warm :) wish i could give u a big hug!

8:55 PM  
Blogger lil _kath said...

... ** I'd rather give Love a chance today rather than wonder "what-if I had?" tommorow ... **

... aww thats moving...i know u mean it yaar.
... she's lucky to be loved by you! ^_^

...Godspeed!

have a great weekend dear!

cheers,
-kathy-

10:30 PM  
Blogger Gaurav Jain said...

emotional but good! giving love a chance is sure a great idea, isn't it

this post has a hidden, deep message I believe

cheers, and have a nice weekend!

10:41 AM  
Blogger lil _kath said...

... ur tagged dear, check my post when ur free ok? TC...


cheers,
-kathy-

10:41 PM  
Blogger Rose said...

:))))

It is worth it all right..

..Me

11:41 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

**I'd rather give Love a chance today rather than wonder "what-if I had?" tommorow

Spot on! Go for it or u'll never know!

Keshi.

10:39 PM  
Blogger bubbly soda said...

anup, you totally spoke for me. Love... Well, no matter how that person you love don't respond, you jsut keep showing and lavishing your love for him/her. It is hard to not love though knowing the fact that we might be rejected. People may see us as stupid and irrational but they don't understand. I hope people would stop judging 'stupid love-sicks'. we are not stupid and ignorant, we are just not throwing our love away and think of the 'what-if-I-had' tomorrow. It hurts a lot and it takes a lot from us, but we can't stop loving can we?

"This feeling is not for judging,
Not from you, him, nor me...
It is granted to our hearts,
Our mind may freeze and die..
But this bearing heart...
Would never ever die..."

take care!

1:35 AM  
Blogger tulipspeaks said...

honey..

"Nothing" ... he mumbles

nothing always means something :)

=ammu=

4:23 AM  
Blogger Aimless wanderings said...

Hi..Had to del my old blog and make a new one so thought i'd let you know :)
Renu.

5:33 AM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@Scribblez
*blushes* Thank u buddy ... but very few would ever believe that I'm a nice guy ... I'm just a Time Pass smart alec to most ... :)

@Elaine
:) ... its the thought that counts ... thank u ... :)

@Kathy
... :) and I'm lucky to love her too ... she's inspired so much of this blog na? :)

And i loved ur tag Kathy .. will get to it soon (I hope) ... as it is, every day at work, on skype, I have funny thoughts for the day put up ... guess, i'll just list a few of my favs for the tag ... :)

@Gaurav
thanks man! ... yes it sure is ... :) ... a deeper message? ... no comments ... :)

@Rose
:) so we finally agree on something ... ;)

@Keshi
buddy buddy buddy ... intend to do that always ... :)

@Mel
"but we can't stop loving can we?"
No Mel ... we sure can't ... I completely agree with u!!!

@Amu
lolz ... true ... and it applies to gals too! :)

@Renu
Gud to know that yaar ... will drop by soon!!!! :)

9:08 AM  

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