Friday, March 03, 2006

A question 'bout life ....

I was at an office party recently, and despite the fun I was having, a thought flashed ... "this would've been so much better if 'MNO' was here" ... and then I went back to having fun ...

On my way home, I started thinking of what had happened ... I'd missed a dear friend ... but just for an instant ... wasn't I a good friend? ... Sure, I would meet my buddy the next day, and we'd share a few laughs as I recounted the happenings ... so it's not such a big deal ... but that wasn't the issue vexing me ...

... human frailty never ceases to amaze me ... life is precious and oh so fleeting ... life is just so unpredictable ... all the dreams that I've dared to dream ... all these plans that I've dared to draw ... it may all end abruptly ... it takes nine months for life to take the shape of a human ... but it may not even take a few seconds for it all to end ... what then?

"As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth
For the wind passeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more" (Psalm 103)

... I believe that we're going to a better place after our time down here is up ... but, while I'm still here, I can't help but (selfishly) wonder about how many will miss me when I'm gone ... and if they will miss me ... for how long? ...

I know that it wouldn't really make any difference to me (after I'm gone), but for now, there's something ... call it selfishness, insecurity, wannabe ego boost, a craving for recognition/fame ... or just the reassurance that I've been a significant part of many people's lives ... that I've contributed positvely (added value) to their lives ... that they've loved me ... and they'll miss me ... when I'm gone ...

Isn't the desire to be misssed by someone, a need that's just as basic as the need to be loved? ... or is it just me on one of my melancholic trips? :)

For now, I'm just gonna take every day for what it truly is ... a present ... a gift ... and try to live as best as I know how ... and aim to leave behind pleasant memories in hearts of many ... that after I'm gone, once in a while I'll pop up in their memories and they'll recall fun times ... that they'll associate me forever with pleasant happenings in the past ... that would be my claim to a bit of immortality down here ....

I never promised any answers ... I only have questions ... I just wanted you to think on these lines ... Have I succeeded???

----
Hey Keshi! ... so, I kept my promise and posted it today! :) ... I still think you handled the topic much much better ... but this is the way I am buddy! :)

18 Comments:

Blogger SkittishKat said...

Great musings, brother. I think we all have those thoughts.
I think of those I remember from the vantage point of 64 years.
My special, precious grandparents, Great Aunt Blanche, and my Aunt Mildred.
Papa was the clan leader, we all knew we were safe and cared for by him, that no matter how far we strayed or how badly we erred that we'd be welcomed like the Prodigal son. He was strong and gentle and wise.
Grandma was the healer, the nurturer, we all loved her and gave her the respect Papa demanded for her. And we loved them both for that.
Great Aunt Blanche was the gentlest person I've ever known, her goodness always brought tears to my eyes even as a child.
Aunt Mildred gave me validity as a child. She died from exhaution from first taking care of my Grandpa after Grandma died. She tried her best but he wouldn't have it, he wanted to go home.
Then her husband had Alheimers and she took care of him until he passed on. She worried herself sick about youngest son who was lazy, sponged off of her and used and sold drugs. She had as much as she could take, all giving.
Sorry I carried on so long, it's your blog but I loved them so.
Be a father, a grandfather, uncle and a spouse who demands respect for his lady.
Skittishkat

12:31 AM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@SK
Hiya Sis! ... ur reply makes me feel really good ... coz' the pleasant memories u've detailed is the bit of immortality for every one of them ... they certainly did something right! ... they are loved ... they are missed ... that's the whole thought-process behind this post ...

and never bother about the length of ur reply ... I like to listen ... :)

3:16 AM  
Blogger Marissa said...

you've succeeded. life is all about questions...if we had the answers, what would have to strive for??

10:55 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

That's a SUPERB post Anup and I'm so very glad u chose to put it up.

**... but it may not even take a few seconds for it all to end .

thats soooooo very true! And not many realise that...they think life is forever and take it and others for granted. My dad is a great example...he lived, loved and was a great human being...but u know I'm sure he never thought that he's die so suddenly...neither did we...he wasnt even sick...he was only 42 and one morning he was dead...just liek that! First heart attack and gone in a matter of seconds w.o. even saying a word to any of us. I have learnt to much after that...I have learnt to 'live' each day as if it's my last...cos it may well be my last.

I think u r a very intelligent and sensitive guy Anup...which is a rare and valued combination...I think u'll go a long way in life - u will do well in many aspects cos u u'stand what life really is. I for one person will MISS u like crazy if u were to die b4 me...I'd be so lost trust me. Cos even tho we only know each other from blogs, u have captured my senses in a way that it's hard to express- and not even some real-life loved-ones can do that to me. Isnt that amazing? But being the selfish person I am :), Im so sure that ur not gonna die b4 me...I have this strong feeling that I will die young...dun ask me why but I have been getting that feeling and a vision along with it for many years now...so will u miss me when Im gone?

Keshi.

4:07 PM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@Marissa
that's so true ... in this journey, we start off with questions, and as we get answers to them, we find more questions vexing us ... and so we move on ... but when our time down here is up ... I know that we'll find all the answers ...

@Keshi
I'm extremely sorry about this Keshi ... didn't know about ur dad ... I feel really bad and words only seem shallow and empty ... so, ((HUGS)) my friend ...

Thanks for letting me know that U'll miss me ... it means a lot that, despite the distance, and in such a short span of time, u consider me ur buddy ...

... and I want you to know that it's very much the same here too ... you've opened up your life ... you've been honest, encouraging and supportive ... and on so many occasions, when I've been down, ur comments have lifted my spirits ... all of us bloggers know u as a kind and sensitive human ... I value ur friendship a lot ... and I definitely will Miss you ...

But, although one should live every day to the fullest, please don't talk about dying young buddy ... words are very powerful ... so, remove those thoughts and rather say out loud that you will live a long and healthy life and that you will play with ur grandchildren's children ... I wish u a long and happy life ... my dear buddy ... :)

7:25 PM  
Blogger the_ego_has_landed said...

"it takes nine months for life to take the shape of a human ... but it may not even take a few seconds for it all to end ... "

liked these lines...:)
its true..we all want/need to be loved..and even I've thought about...will i be missed? lol...i guess we gotta make the best of everyday!:) and try and be good and true to ourself...my belief!

Btw..here's a quote I wanted to share- "As it turns out,now is the moment you've been waiting for."quoted by Lucinda Williams

hehee...couldn stop grinnin after reading it!
cheers!

11:44 PM  
Blogger Roshomon said...

Can I link you on my blog?

12:20 AM  
Blogger Roshomon said...

Its amazing how long it takes to build anything...and easy it is to break it...it always surprises me...like you said, it just takes a moment for life to be over...

8:22 AM  
Blogger Dreamy Eyed Gal said...

u r really a wonderful human being...thinking abt all this shows it...and all u've written is so true...really...

10:02 AM  
Blogger Maya Cassis said...

lovely post.we are going to a better place..there is nothing wrong in wonedering how many will miss you as long as you will miss them too.we are all humans after all.

11:06 AM  
Blogger VirginUpdates said...

absolutely wonderful work in here.love the way your mind works.the essence is simplicity.beautiful.bravo!will come back for more

11:08 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

heyy Anup that brought tears to my eyes...it really did. Isnt it amazing how much we all mean to each other even tho we haven't met in real...


**and that you will play with ur grandchildren's children

so sweet...I wish the same for u too...who knows, ur grandkids could en up dating my grandkids..lol!

well abt dying young, it's not something I wish for...it keeps coming into my head all the time...when I was abt 8yrs old, I used to get a terrible vision abt a car accident in which I die...I still get this occassionally...and when it happens, I just close my eyes n ears n hide away...for fe seconds...I wrote abt this in my THE UNFELT TOUCH post...


Keshi.

4:27 PM  
Blogger still_figuring_out said...

this subject always upsets me, so please excse me if i can`t offer a proper comment on the post, even though i read it.

7:53 PM  
Blogger lil _kath said...

Was blessed to read the verses yaar..thanx ,good start of my day!
Have a blessed monday too..
Thanx for droppin' by on my blog anup..nice one you have here^_~

cheers,
-kathy-

8:34 PM  
Blogger Este Miseria said...

hmph! we're on totally different tacks here. btw if u still want it can email u some notes ive got on villanelles.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Cherry tiger said...

I've been really busy lately and during those times how I wished I could check out your blog and other people's blogs. I call it a form of 'missing someone'.

Haha... blogs has become so important to me to know how the people I care about is feeling.

And I always believe that everyone will leave a mark in this world. It doesn't have to be written on famous walls or trees, it doesn't have to be aired on TV or spoken by word of mouth. But we will always leave our mark in someone's heart.

And I'm sure you've made a difference in your life to be missed when you're gone. ^^

Take care and God bless!

7:43 PM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

I just wanted reassurance that I'm not alone in thinking this way ... and it's really great to know that I'm not ... thanks a lot, my dear buddies ... for responding and thereby reassuring me ...

@TEHL
Now that's a good quote buddy!!! :)

@Roshomon
Sure thing ... would be my privilege ... :)
Glad u understand ...

@DEG
(blushes) :) ... thanks for saying that ... but I'm sure many will disagree ... lolz ...

@Maya
thanks a lot!... yes, we are all just humans after all ...

@VU
thanks for dropping by ... I'm gonna visit ur blog soon ... :)

@Keshi
yes it's truly amazing ... and its a really good feeling too ... :)

sorry about the terrible visions, buddy ... {{ HUGS }}

... and yes, our grankids may really end up dating ... that'd be sooo cool!!! :)

@SFO
its okay buddy ... sorry to have upset u ...

@LK
thanks for dropping by ... c ya .. :)

@CA
... as I said on ur blog ... I'm okay ... U're okay ... we're both okay ... :) ... having diff beliefs makes no difference at all buddy ... c ya ... :)

@CT
so u missed me buddy ... :) lolz ... aah it feels good to be missed ... :)

... absolutely! I too am starting to believe that we all will, in some way or the other leave a mark on other's lives ... when we live right, that is ... :)

11:54 PM  
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4:58 PM  

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