Sunday, April 02, 2006

I've had enough ...

I've been very patient
I kept hoping I was wrong about you
But from the way things are going
And from what my eyes are seeing
There's very lil' chance that it ain't true

Do you take me for a lovestruck fool?
You are partly right ...
... lovestruck? Oh yes!
But I ain't no fool!

Initially
I tried to ignore the obvious ...
that you don't really care for me
that you aren't really a friend to me
that you're just using me
that I'm just a means to an end
coz' you know that I'm a true friend
(even though you're not)

Yes, so I always knew you were playing me
Just like you play everyone else
But I still played along
Hoping so bad that I was wrong
Hoping so bad that you'd start to care
Hoping that you'd actually become a friend

But, it's been a monumental waste
It ain't worth it no more
It's started to really trouble me
Not that I'm being used ...
... For you I can do anything!
It just seems so sad ...
... its a mockery of my adoration

Stop pretending to be a friend!
I'll help you anyway I can
... whenever I can ...
But just stop pretending ...
... stop abusing my love
... stop exploting my weakness ...
... my fondness for you ...

You've always been a great player
... playing the game the world loves ...
... and playing it well
You know to push the right buttons
You know how to work that charm
You know how to get things done

So I'm sure you'll succeed
that you'll make serious progress in life
And I don't mind it one bit!
I'll be happy when I see you succeed

I'm just sad that you're playing me
I'm just sad that you're pretending
I'm not a fool ... I've had enough
I know who you are ... the games you play
So please just stop ...
Please stop playing me


EDIT:- Okay, I've had to field questions from many friends as regards who I'm talking about ... they were especially concerned if it was them .. lolz .. :)
I just wanna end the speculation and say that I've been her friend for a really long time ... but after a year and half, I'm entitled to get tired of being played ... by someone I love ....


-----
Guys, this was a spur of the moment rant ... just to get some frustration out of my system ...

there are a lot of things going on in my life ... that's why I've not been visiting u guys for a while ... family, studies and career too ... a lot of mess needs to be sorted out ... God have mercy on me ... So please do pray for me ...

27 Comments:

Blogger Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Umm ... am sure wud have helped u feel better by posting it here ....

it really hurts when u come to know somethin like this ...

tiz ok ... move on .. as they say ... and take care .... life is full of surprises ... u might have urs tomorrow!

so cheerio!

4:01 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

And abt who is this Anup? Someone real in ur life?

Keshi.

5:15 PM  
Blogger tulipspeaks said...

most of the time ur post will reflect how i felt..how is this possible? i don't know.. hmm..

=am000nie=

7:34 PM  
Blogger My Ramblings... said...

Hate it when ppl pretend that they care...hate it when someone lies to you and you catch them at it...

Well will pray for you...dont worry...things will work out in the end...they have to...god bless :)

11:20 PM  
Blogger Renu said...

"Tere jahan mein esa nahi ki pyar na ho..phir kyun jahan umeed ho iski wahan nahi milta..".. I pray u find your happiness..:)

11:21 PM  
Blogger Gates said...

I loved the poem. You could see a couple of them on my blog too..

BlogRollin' you, my pleasure!

12:25 AM  
Blogger bubbly soda said...

hey... firstly God Bless you. Well sometimes in life, or rather all the time.. people take thigns for granted and even take other people for granted just to get what they want. It is sad really... Your poem really tell how I'm feeling. Thanks.

12:59 AM  
Blogger lil _kath said...

...you have a good heart yaar, and you deserve to be happy..ask God to give you the one(who is really for you).
Godbless.

hugs,
-kathy-

8:16 AM  
Blogger Curious said...

This is some piece of work! espl If it is the end-result of venting out ur frustration..God bless u!
way to go Anup!

2:24 PM  
Blogger quills said...

Anup..that was really lovely and straight from the heart I see. All you talented writers have a wonderful way of conveying your feelings. In a way its a great blessing to vent it out.

Btw, good luck with everything that's happening in your life. I am sure it will all go well for you.

5:25 PM  
Blogger quills said...

Btw, thanks for adding me to your blog roll. That's a nice honour.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

very funny Anup...

Keshi.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

I dun u'stand ur explanation...I mean in this poem u suggest she was playing u up...but u said that u didnt have any crushes at all so far :) ??

Keshi.

9:00 PM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@CT
:) I hope so ... thanks
BTW, glad 2 see u here after such a long time ... :)

@Keshi
Well, she's a friend I've loved a lot ... at one point I thought I was in love with her too ... but then I realized that I loved her quite a lot, but just as a friend ... she's always known that ... and she's been taking advantage of my fondness for her ... I don't mind doing things for her or being around to help her any way i can ... but she must not think that she has me wrapped around her finger ... it's a conscious choice by me to be a friend even when I know she's not ... I just hate that she's still playing me ...

@Amu
hmmm ... now that's interesting Amu ... :)

@My Ramblings
Thank u so much for your prayers ... that's the most imp of all ... :)

@Renu
Those were really beautiful lines ... thank u so very much! :)

BTW, for those who don't know Hindi, the author addresses God and says - Its not as if there isn't love in your world. But why is it that I don't find it where I hope to find it ....

@Gates
thanks man! :)

@Bubbly Soda
thanks so much! really appreciate ur prayers and good wishes! :) God bless you!

@Lil'_Kath
I'll do that ... and u please join me in prayer too ... that I be wise enough to see people for what they are ... before its too late ...

@Curious
thanks for coming by and lifting my spirits by ur encouraging words ... God bless you too! :)

@Quills
that's the first time anyone has called me a talented writer ... thank you!!! for that and for ur wishes ... :)

adding u to my blogroll .... the honour is mine ... :)

9:22 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

Loved every single line..and the selection of words was awesome.
Only I hope this pain isnt as painful as it sounds and that if atall it is,may it go away real soon.
Wishing you all the luck.

9:33 PM  
Blogger Dalicia said...

anup my MAN..i can FEEL the fire over HERE! hahhah....i hope you'll have things sorted out. such is life...but hang on :)

you know the backstreet boys song "quit playing games with my heart" ? this is what it reminds me off!

who play games with me. will have his hand CUT-OFF!

10:36 PM  
Blogger sonflowerpixie said...

i love your posts. I stumbled upon your site...but i love it.
Your poems seem to speak about my life...thank u

8:04 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

ok..u get played only if allow ppl to play u...rem that :)

Keshi.

8:03 PM  
Blogger tulipspeaks said...

@ keshi

u r so right honey

1:04 AM  
Blogger Vinesh said...

This is sad Anup :-(

Reminded me of the song "Lovefool" by Cardigans.

I do hope you get to feeling differently about some things...and that life allows you to!

5:35 AM  
Blogger Rose said...

Made me wanna sing out loud "Quit Playing Games with my heart"...

My prayers with you poet...

...Me

7:28 AM  
Blogger Arz000n said...

I'm just sad that you're playing me
I'm just sad that you're pretending

To over come this there is one tried, tested and working formula...trynna stay away from her...and try to minimise ur interference in her life...coz then only you will not have this feeling of she playing with ur feelings just ot make u feel good.

9:20 PM  
Blogger SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Very intense poem....All your feeling have ben exposed raw and not everyone can do tht!!!

6:18 AM  
Blogger nomadic_waves said...

:(

9:30 AM  
Blogger Maya Cassis said...

i have been seeing a lot of hurt in this poem and some previous one's too.let it go
when you find true love you will know for sure.:)

2:40 PM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@Diana
thank u so much for ur wishes ... appreciate it a lot ... :)

@Elaine
hehe .. was a bit too intense, eh? ... was just too flustered ... lolz @ ur last line ... ;)

@SFP
welcome to my world ... and as misery loves company ... i'm sorta sad to know that there are others like me out there ...

@Keshi and Amu
I know buddy ... i know ... and i admit it ... it really was one big mistake! ...

@Vinesh
thanks so much for ur wishes m8!

@Rose
yes prayers are what i need most of all ... thank u so much ... :)

@Arz000n
yes... this is good advice ... am gonna do just that ... thanks a lot man! :)

@STW
... yes ... I'm not any trained writer na ... I just write from the heart ... I don't really try to make it palatable ... so it comes out this way ... Thanks 4 ur compliment ... and welcome to my world ... :)

@Nomadic Waves
yes buddy ... :( was exactly how my face was when i penned this one down ... :)

@Maya
yes ... true love ... guess till i find it ... i will remain .... a poet looking for his rhyme ... :)

8:24 PM  
Blogger dharmu said...

@anup- a nice little piece to get that out of you system. its not worth it anyway.

been there myself, so live life for yourself.

these lines for you ....

"koi humme naa chahe, iska hume ghum nahi,
bad nasseb to who hain, inke nasseb mein hum nahi"

4:35 PM  

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