Saturday, June 17, 2006

on friendships ....

How does one make friends?

Generally one tends to gravitate towards people with similar personalities ... ones whose interests and likes/dislikes/preferences closely resemble your own ... basically its the 'birds of a feather flocking together' funda ...

And yet, quite often two people from vastly different sections of society, with diametrically opposite personalities, attitudes, beliefs and convictions ... become the very best of friends. Now why does that happen?

I've experienced it myself ... Despite being completely opposite in almost all aspects of our life ... from what we like to do in our spare time or where we'd like to hang out, to deeper matters such as our convictions and beliefs ... despite it all, we get along amazingly well ... I mean, its like we have some sort of commonality at a deeper level that binds the friendship together ... In fact, very often I feel that my love and respect for these friends exceeds my affection for other dear friends.

Why do you think it is so? Is it because at a deeper level, we seek friends who complete us? ... as in - fill the gaps we perceive as existing in our personalities? ... they do the things that we've always wanted to, but were unable to ... perhaps they have the attitude that we crave ... so in being with them, we feel we have become whole? ...

Or is it just as simple as "Opposites attract" ... even in friendships?

---
I know, I know ... two posts in two days? Do I have lots of free time or what? Actually, quite the opposite! ... I've been working like crazy and all the pent up frustration of working like this to meet deadlines is spilling over here ... When I'm frustrated, I write ... otherwise someone's gonna get punched in the face very soon! ... grrr ... :)

12 Comments:

Blogger biplabid said...

good piece of thought there.

quite rightly said...and most of the times this is true. in fact, sometimes i feel that having a friend quite opposite to what you are is quite exciting. there are more avenues to explore, more things to learn from that person. well, you might say there are also much to lose...may be. but as far as i believe, most of the discords between friends exists because you believe or (try) tend to believe in similarity and so ignore the beauty of difference..

8:37 AM  
Blogger Dalicia said...

i trust my feelings. sometimes i feel like i know the person the who life when i first meet them.

i know a lot of people. there are some friends you just like to have fun with. the others are more serious but they can give you advice about life. u also have the drama queens and kings...it's nice to have someone to share the same interest with you. if not, i'm sure there's something interesting about them...

if they're a jerkass..u make sure u don't end up like them. they're quiet.u want to figure out what makes them tick. and if they're selfish....then u just lecture them about life...hahahahaha

anyways, the hardest part is to know who are your true friends.

11:19 PM  
Blogger Cynthia Rae said...

Well, they always say that bird of a feather flock together... but once in a while we meet someone who is quiet differnet from ourselves. I had such a friend once. He was crazy, loud, fun, and listened to hardcore rock. Very different than myself. There was something under all of that and it was there where our friendship grew.

Cyn

11:38 PM  
Blogger Dreamy Eyed Gal said...

hey really true...i have also found the best of frds in sm1 whose beliefs r diametrically opposit to mine

1:04 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

lol ur like me Anup...when Im stressed out, I write posts :):)


**Is it because at a deeper level, we seek friends who complete us? ...

mebbe...it's also mebbe cos we seek friends who can express wut we believe but cannot express so much like them...

Keshi.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Rose said...

I believe that we dnt make a conscious effort to make friends.. It just happens !!!

I hv the most incredible bunch of friends who r very close to my heart.. They are practically nxt to family for me.. And they r a diverse, crazy lot belv me..

~ear-to-ear grin~

Some of 'em i didnt even like initialy.. There is this close friend whose certain characteristics i loathe.. But i still care for them frm the bottom of my heart..

I gues friendship is way beyond interest, likes, attitudes or beliefs.. Amazing are the bonds of the heart and the way it does.. it just HAPPENS !!!

I gues its best not to ask too many questions and jst go with the flow.. Life always has little surprises in store for u.. even in relationships..

:)

..Me

12:01 AM  
Blogger SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey...I havent thought deeply about it but I know I married someone who is the opposite of me...In all we learn things from each other, not forced but we adapt and we reach a more moderate approach to things and that is very nice! In friends too, my best friend n me dont think alike but we are best friends. Hangouts is something we merge and learn and see new things which we thought were boring n not into...There is always somethng new and something to learn when people are of the opposite sides...Ofcourse they must be people who can accept and respect people who dont think just like them....I am so surprised as now we say "Those people are not our type"...And wht is our type itself is a mix and match!! I have no answers tot his post man! You leave me thinking forever I guess...:)

9:33 AM  
Blogger Renu said...

back...enjoyed reading all the posts I missed :)

2:58 AM  
Blogger Arz000n said...

I believe...friends are made only on need basis....rest all is all bull crap

Last night one of ma frinds popped me a question.....

z000nie..do u categorise ur friends....if yes, then which categor do I belong too??

and I like...hmmm..hmmm...hmmmmmm

Category of friends....thts funny :)

6:15 AM  
Blogger anup.777 said...

@biplab
nice thought urself yaar! :)

@Elaine
Absolutely agree wid u ... u never know who ur true friends are ... until u actually end up needing one...

@Cynthia
My point exactly ... so diff ... and yet some commonality ... that draws them together

@DEG
:) nice 2 know dis, buddy

@Keshi
lolz ... then u r a lot more stressed than me, eh buddy! :)
... ah yes, nice point there ...

@Rose
Yes Rose ... its so very true ... yes, nice advice ... I'm gonna go wid da flow ... lets wait n watch! :)

@Scribblez
That's so nice to know yaar! ... I mean, in marriage, as opposites I guess u complete and complement each other even more! ... wish ya a wonderful and blissful married life yaar!!! :)

@Renu
welcome back buddy!

@Arz000n
that's an interesting question ... one can actually write a post on this one I guess ... :)

4:00 AM  
Blogger lil _kath said...

..hehe yeah two post in two days?? that's amazed me yaar... ^_^

...oposites attract in friendship?? yeah, i believe in that too ;)

..hey thanx for the song u've sent me, it's coool! it's on my fav playlist now ;)

..have a great weekend!

cheers,
-kathy-

12:46 AM  
Blogger nirmala said...

Dats sooo true when v meet some ppl .....it just happens v just get along so well to hve that luvley bond even tho of different intrests ect ect ect ......its strange ....but this is how v learn somany things from eachother:-)

2:43 PM  

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