Monday, December 26, 2005

When you say "Sorry"

Today I complicated my life some more (as usual ;). I admitted to a truth that should have remained hidden. The truth was gnawing at me from the inside .... and I just had to get rid of it! I had to get it out and get on with life...... Unfortunately, the truth hurt someone very dear to me... and though I wish there were some other painless way in which I could have let that person know the truth,...... there just wasn't!

The normal course of action to rectify the situation would be to say "I'm Sorry" and hope that those words weave together the broken strands of the relationship. But, I'm wondering ..... I mean .... Why must I lie and say "I'm Sorry" when in fact I'm not? ... It would just serve to negate the original truth that I confessed to... the original truth that landed me in this soup in the first place! What I confessed to was the truth... in all its naked and yet vulnerable glory. I'm not ashamed of it all. But should I do what so many men have done since the dawn of civilization.... lie (say Sorry) to save a relationship?

I believe that one should be honest in every relationship.... but it is so damn easy to just lie and say "Sorry" to sort out unpleasant stuff and start over! But, instead of confronting/dealing with the underlying issue, one sidesteps all the complicated stuff and continues a relationship just because it seems to be working. So, will such a relationship (where the truth is conveniently overlooked) last long? .... or will it eventually crumble .... as the truth cannot remain hidden forever? And is the trade-off worth it? I'll never know..... coz' I end up screwing up relationships left, right and center due to this strange tendency to be brutally honest.... This is something that I'm gonna have to work on.... it will definitely make it to the winding list of New Year Resolutions!

While I still believe that the truth is highly overrated (as I'll doubtless see over the coming week), I absolutely refuse to say Sorry for something I'm not.

Wait a second.... it just struck me that I don't have to apologize for saying the truth.... I can just apologize for the hurt that the revelation of the truth caused! So, this is how I will apologize.... "I'm Sorry that I caused you so much hurt.... I can't stand seeing you this way.... I hope you can forgive me." Simple, honest and yet effective? Only time will tell.... I'll keep you guys posted!

And while we are on the subject of apologies.... have you ever wondered .... that in case of people who apologize for some wrong they have been caught doing..... are they sorry for having done that wrong? Or are they just sorry that they got caught? ..... ;) Makes you wonder, eh?


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