I've been tagged ....

This is the first time I've been tagged... so I'll actually play along ... and since I'm home nursing a cold, and too tired to do anything exciting ... I'm doing this right away! .... (In fact, if I were at the office, where the work is all piled up ... and there's no escape :) , I would have to wait till the weekend to get this tag done... and that may seem rude ... so pls bear that in mind, if anyone tags me and I'm unable to get to it right away....)
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Firstly, thank you Lady, for tagging me... :)

The rules of the game are:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

Sex of my perfect lover: Female

The qualities should be:
1. Honest: she's honest ... not just to me... but to herself ... believes in the motto - "To thine own self be true"

2. Trust: would logically follow from the honesty in the relationship.... she trusts me completely and vice versa ...

3. Space: understands that despite mutual trust, we both need space and 'self time'

4. Committed: she's committed to the relationship and has a 'come what may, we'll fight it together' attitude ... (I told u I don't believe in divorces :)

5. Frank: she doesn't play mind games or expects me to read her mind always (sometimes is okay) ... if something bothers her, she's frank about it and addresses the issue immediately... we never leave issues unaddressed for they may simmer inside and explode one day...

6. Not a Nag: Being frank is one thing, but she must not be a nag... tell me once or maybe twice ... but no more ... perhaps she could just write it down and give it to me?

7. Not too pushy: Doesn't try to change me before I'm ready. I know all women will try to change their men and make them better. I'm okay with that. But, she's tactful and not overly pushy about it... gradually I will come around.... :)

8. Loving and affectionate: she's extremely loving and affectionate, with a warm and caring heart ... my precious angel... she reciprocates my love with loads of her own...

But, one very important quality that she absolutely must have is - a sense of humour ... life would be drab if she didn't have that! ....


And the next 8 people are:
Amu
Keshi
Ash
Elaine
C A F F E I N E - A D D I C T
Michelle
Still Figuring Out
The Untrodden

(I know most of them have already been tagged... so I'm the last link of this tag ... hehe :)

The song that's playing in my head right now...

I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster... one day I'm strong and ready to take on the world ... and the next day I'm a whimpering puppy crying in the rain ... (exaggerated as usual ;) ... anyway, this song seems to be describing just what I'm feeling right now .... and adds a bit of hope to it as well ... no wonder it's playing on and on in my head ....

"Beauty From Pain" by Superchick
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God let me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

Here and I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

Found a link to the song on the net ... you can listen to it here - http://rapidshare.de/files/11997262/06-Beauty-from-Pain.mp3.html

(Copy the link in your browser, Choose the "Free" option, Wait for a few seconds while they reserve a download ticker for you, enter a verification code they flash on the screen and then hit the download buttion)

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And Elaine, I just listened to ur song ... that was fun ... :) lolz ... thanks!

Poems... I miss You (the trilogy)

I seem to be having a writers/poets block or something..... or maybe I'm just too flustered coz' another one of the peak work seasons is upon me ... ;) ... whatever.... here are a bunch of incomplete poems (if u can still call them that...) ... I find myself unable to complete them at present.... so sad, eh? .... lolz (overdramatic as usual) ....

1. I miss u....
Out of Sight
.... but still so near
Out of reach
.... but still so dear
I close my eyes
.... and see you there
but when I reach out
.... you dissapear

I still miss you
.... still long to kiss you
Wanna hold you
.... run my fingers thru ur hair

Life's so unfair
.... but I don't care
I still love you
.... with all of my being..... I swear

2. I miss you (reloaded) ....
It's been so long since you left me

But it's only you that I still see
in a hazy mix of dreams and reality

I still long for you... apparently
for my heart just refuses to break free

But the daily recollection of old memories
is a pain that sorely vexes me

I wish I could just live in a dream for eternity
But that's just plain insanity

So what do I do but try to not think of u and me
... not trouble still waters... just let them be ...

For someday love will bloom again
.... on this rugged lovelorn tree

just wait and see....

3. I miss you (revolutions)
I'm all alone
... once again
Fate's cruel look
... of disdain
A tinge of sadness
... a whole lot of pain
But a deep breath later
... I'm singing this refrain...

What don't kill me
Will only make me stronger
And I don't care
If you love me any longer

For the night may be dark
But the stars don't complain
The sun will soon be out
And take away my pain

And I sing the refrain...

What don't kill me
Will only make me stronger
Love me or hate me
But you can't ignore me any longer

You can lock me out
and throw away the key
But you can't kill the love
That's still raging within me

I realize now
That you were never my destiny
I realize now
That it was never meant to be

I believe in love
... that I soon will receive love
I'm already happy
... and I'll soon be set free

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Yes, I'm a Matrix fan .... ;)
I'm also a fan of The X Files .... but the truth is IN HERE .... :)

Poem - The Fight's on

The Fight's on - Anup R

In a crowd and yet all alone
He stands still
He's got nowhere to go
He often wishes he had a heart of stone
Coz' he'd not have all these feelings
that lay hidden .... that he dare not show

He's spent the night wide awake
Thinking about everything that's at stake
And though life seems to be one big mistake
He still goes around carrying a smile that's fake

Yes he breathes.... but he's not alive
Yes he hurts.... but he doesn't cry
Yes he bleeds.... but he refuses to die
His wings are clipped.... but his spirit still flies high

So he gathers all of his might
He puts on his armor and rushes back into the fight
From dawn to dusk and all through the night
He strives for what be believes is right

He's still praying....
for the revealing....
of the one for whom he's been waiting
for a lifetime of belonging

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This poem may not make sense to most. But, it does to me.... :)

Basically, the guy feels lonely and is searching/praying for his soulmate... the one who'll complete him... who'll complement him...who'll love him for who he is... with the same intensity with which he loves her... (the rest will be covered in an upcoming article on marriages that I promised a few buddies.... I'm still working on it... I'm still gathering my thoughts on it... and hopefully you should see it some time the coming week....)

Ciao!

My thoughts on Marriage...

I think that after the earlier post on affairs, this topic would be most appropriate... so that u have two different perspectives following each other....

On to the article now....
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Almost every day during lunch, my friend and I combine forces to 'educate' a friend, who is about to get married, on what life is likely to be after her marriage....

We tease her saying that the long and intense conversations she now enjoys with her fiance will dwindle to occasional chats on mundane household matters after marriage (husbands will just nod yes/no to everything the wives say... to avoid getting sucked into a potentially dangerous conversation... the dreaded "Does this dress make me look fat?" is at the top of the list... a close second on the list are any questions on in-laws...)

We caution her against expecting too many compliments or gifts from her husband... Before marriage, compliments may fly thick and fast, but after marriage, the odds are against it! ... (once the husband has reached a comfort level, he no longer feels the need to voluntarily dish out compliments... after all, his feelings have not changed... she's beautiful... he loves her... and she knows how he feels... coz' he's said it so very often in the past!)

And as far as gifts are concerned, wives remember every single detail of a relationship (the first time they met... their first date... their first fight... their first kiss... their second fight.... their second kiss.... their engagement.... their first fight... their first kiss.... their marriage.... their first fight... their first kiss....). They also remember all those important "days" that the evil-card & gift manufacturing conglomerates come up with .... Birthdays, Valentines Day, Marriage Day, World Peace Day, Husbands Day, Wives Day, Tell-the-ones-you-love-that-you-love-them-day.... And they'll give gifts for all these occasions. There's no way that husbands can compete with their wives as far as giving gifts is concerned! What husbands rather should do is give the occasional gifts (purchase them at one time and keep them hidden around the house... so that when you finally remember that it's your anniversary/her b'day you don't have to rush to the nearest mall!) to save your marriage, but nothing more... in fact, if you actually like giving gifts to your wife, make sure that there is no special "day" scheduled, otherwise your wife will expect a gift on every such "day". Lower your wife's expectations when it comes to expecting gifts from you... that way she'll be delighted with every gift you give her... :)

We also tell her that she doesn't really 'know' her fiance and irrespective of the amount of time she has spent so far with him, she only knows one aspect of him ... the good bits of his personality that he wants to reveal... all the other facets of his personality will only hit her a few months into the marriage... Taking inspiration from Shrek, we explain that men are like onions (with a lot of layers ... we're not smelly!...at least not all the time... :) and that as time goes by, the outer layers are peeled off and you arrive at the layers that were hidden so far... and that's when tears start to flow .... ;)

But, jokes apart, let me put down some serious thoughts on marriage.... here is what I believe with all my heart, mind and spirit.... why marriages fail....

Marriage is probably one of the most important steps one takes in this lifetime. It can be a source of the deepest joy or the deepest regret. So one must exercise utmost caution when deciding who you marry. Today I see more and more marriages falling apart over the silliest issues.... I think there are two major reasons for the ever rising failure of marriages:

1. Unrealistic expectations:
This definitely must be a main reason for failure. People enter a marriage with unrealistic expectations. One must be practical.... Stop dreaming! No one is perfect. Everyone has their own unique quirks/problems. If you enter a marriage with the clarity that both are messed up and neither is perfect, you'll be better positioned to accept the facts and deal with it. I believe that such acceptance will help the partners complement each other. Where she is weak, he becomes her strength and where he's messed up, she becomes his comfort. Both have the God-given capacity to heal each other... to fill the void in each other's lives... if only they accept their weakness, their partner's weakness and then commit to be there for each other....

2. Easy escape route of divorce is available:
I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I don't believe in divorce. I think that marriages fail so often because people get married without any real commitment to see it through.... and as the easy escape route of divorce is available, they choose to run at the whiff of trouble! Such people will opt to remarry and try it again with someone else to avoid working on the relationship... Why? .... No commitment! Such people may never realize that they may very well be the problem and not their spouse!

I believe that a marriage would be sucesful, if both partners enter it with the full commmitment to see it through... fully commited to the vow - "till death do us part"... with no easy escape route of divorce available, such partners will somehow strengthen each other and resolve that ... come what may... whatever problems or tribulations... we'll fight it out.... TOGETHER!

I also believe that communication is extremely important for a succesful marriage. Both partners must express (tactfully) their feelings clearly to the other and at the same time suggest reasonable solutions to what is bothering him/her. Even if seemingly petty things are bottled up for a long time, the risk of a potentially catastrophic explosion of emotions rises with every passing day.... For todays couples who have hectic schedules and stressful work lives... try and avoid taking work/work pressure to your home... spend as much time as possible with your family ... just talk to each other... take a vacation once in a while... just the two of you.... unwind together ... enjoy each other's company... keep the lines of communication open at all times ....

Marriage is not an easy/one-time thing... it is a continuous joint-responsibily. Both partners have to be equally commited to each other... and must work at it together... that's why it's extremely important to marry the right person... the one who has a similar outlook on life, love and marriage ... the one who is ready to commit to a lifetime with you....

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I must clarify one thing. I believe that my views will generally apply to all marriages. However, in case of marriages where one person abuses the other continually, and is absolutely unreasonable and unrepentant about it, then for the sake of preserving sanity, just walk out of it! No one should continue in an abusive relationship. Of course, one must consider all facts calmly and consult with a third person (a counselor perhaps?) before taking a major step like that.

Peace Out!
Anup

Affairs ...

Whilst surfing the net for intersting blogs, I came across this one: http://affairstory.blogspot.com/

It's about how an affair with a colleague breaks up a marriage ... it chronicles the consequences from this breach of the sanctity of marriage ... it offers a look at the mind of the man at the center of all this mess...

Start from the first post and keep going... and do go through the comments posted by other bloggers.... some are very nasty indeed... but as these comments come from people who are presently in affairs, or are sons/daughters of families torn apart by affairs, or by spouses of ones who were/are in an affair, they offer a lot of food for thought....

... And while I don't sympathize with the guy .... I do appreciate the honest way in which he has written it all down... the motivation... the feeling... the regret.... the sorrow... This blog, in my opinion captures another aspect of human frailty ...

Maybe someone's marriage could be saved from reading that guy's tale? ....

Businesses that will definitely do well in future…

Savvy investors can get in on this before the boom begins in these businesses…. I’m just gonna share two … there are many others too… maybe you could suggest some…..

Private Investigators:
With the way moral standards keep declining every day, I think that Private Investigators would rake in the moolah as more and more couples look for dirt on their partners…. Before/After/During the marriage… :) … after all, it’s definitely a good thing to know what you are getting into (rather, what your future spouse has been involved in) before you get married… then it’s understandable to want to monitor your investment (yes, you do invest time, energy, love and affection into a marriage… and money too!)… and of course, you’d like to keep tabs on someone you dislike (marriages/relationships will obviously disintegrate a whole lot more in future... coz' of the dissapearing morals) .... maybe you can screw up his/her present marriage? … I’m so mean, eh? … grr … LOL ;) …..

Of course Private Investigators could also profit from Boy Friends or Girl Friends keeping tabs on each other … maybe they could offer discount schemes to cover both partners? …. And then again, with more parents keeping tabs on children and children keeping tabs on parents and corporates keeping tabs on their consumers and employers keeping tabs on employees and employees keeping tabs on their immediate bosses and colleagues... and so on... the bottom line is that companies that offer the service of Private Investigators have a great future ... so do the companies that manufacture sleuthing equipment... so you better invest in them!

To cash in on this, you can take up a course and try and become a Private Investigator in time to cash in on the expected boom in business..

If you are a Venture Capitalist, gimme money to launch such a Company...

Another devious way these companies could make money is to randomly investigate someone and then use the results to blackmail him/her or their partner…. Although illegal in most countries, this approach is sure to help investigators tide over slack periods… ;) ... and if anyone threatens to sue? ... Investigate them and get dirt on them! Everyone has skeletons in the closet that they'd like to keep hidden... so you have an excellent business model in place!

Medical Services/Clinics:
Accompanying the decline in moral standards, come new life-threatening diseases. Clinics who undertake testing for these diseases will start raking in the moolah once it becomes standard practice for couples planning on getting married / getting into a serious relationship to produce a certificate that they are free from ‘lifestyle’ diseases discovered so far…

(I don’t mean to offend anyone who is afflicted of any such diseases, especially as it may not their fault…there are a thousand ways one may get a disease and then again there are a million ways to die… but the world will just not care…it’s too selfish and perverted to give you the benefit of the doubt) …

Similarly, specialty clinics who will make designer babies will also do very well … (babies who will have the IQ of Einstein, the beauty of Brad Pitt or Julia Roberts or both? :) … are already being designed in labs… and it will only get better (or worse?) as time goes by…

Similarly, I believe there is a new move of couples opting to store their "seed" for future sowing and harvesting... with rising hypocricy, this business should also do well .. (Don't ask me to elaborate 'rising hypocricy'...)

With rising vanity and increasing laziness, the 'miracle workers' who wield the blade and knock off the years/blubber will flourish....

The bottom line is that companies that offer these services have a great future ... so do the companies that manufacture the related equipment... so you better invest in them!

Hope u guys had some fun! .... Do suggest other businesses that you expect to definitely do well in future...

Ciao!

A make over is on the cards...

I've got this urge to change myself... just to see the change in the way people react to me... rather to see the change in their perception of me...

First on the chopping block would be my frankness... I think a mixture of diplomacy and tactfulness will help me avoid all kinds of sticky situations that my frank nature lands me in... the truth will no longer be 'out there' ... it will be 'in there' .... ;)

Next, tongue-wagging must reduce significantly... people must no longer know what I'm thinking... This must definitely be combined with some way to control emotions so that they don't show up on my face.... at present, you can just have a look at my face to know what I'm feeling... this leaves me very vulnerable.... This definitely must go!

Next, I must convince myself... "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" ... Those who've read my earlier posts will know that I'm in love with being in love... I love the rush it gives me... but it also saps me dry when things go wrong... (after all, all good things must come to an end...) .... So, I must busy myself in my work, studies, hobbies, blogging etc. so that I don't have time to fall in love! ... ;)

I think I need a mean streak in me... I've been too sappy for my own good... Who needs empathy? That's for wimps! I've gotta be a little mean..... grr... I'm gonna start reading the book on famous insults now.... and quote them to unsuspecting victims very soon... grr (some more) ... :)

And very importantly, I'll be hitting the gym as often as I can... to get more grr grr....

I'll keep u posted on any success I have on any of these parameters.... frankly, it'll be a tough ride... grr grr.... (I think I'm changing already! .... :)

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I'm addicted to love... http://anupr.blogspot.com/2005/12/im-addict.html

A gr8 song comes 2 mind... Don't u want somebody 2 love... Don't u need somebody 2 love... but it's hard 2 find somebody 2 love.... .... grr :)

Poem - You're wrong

"You're Wrong" - Anup R

If you think I'm broken ... that I can't go on ...
You're wrong ...
If you think I'm weak ... that I can't move on ...
You're wrong ...

It's been too long
since the sun's been gone
and you're the one
who drove me to become strong
So, you're wrong ....

And if you ever think
that I still care for you
that after all this time I still yearn for you
that not a day goes by when I don't think about you
You're wrong.... I wish you were wrong....
I so wish you were..... wrong.....

Poem - Someday

"Someday" - Anup R

Yesterday we were close friends
and I thought to the heavens I could ascend
I used to wish those days would never end
Now I just wish for some way to make amends

Coz', now you look at me with disdain
and my words do I have to refrain

But, someday I'll grow numb to the pain
Someday I'll stop crying in the rain
Someday my heart will cease to be your domain
Someday I'll fall in love again
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I think I need to work on this poem some more.... but for now, I no longer have the luxury to be in love or think about love or write about it.... though I want to :( .... I've got exams to prepare for.... and the pressure at work is mounting .... so, when I get some time, I'll edit this post and make it better....

Results are out....

Well, I guess I'm revealing another aspect of my life...... You see, I've been pursuing a really tough professional course... and over the past two years, I've had to deal with failure... I've had to deal with the frustration on having to start over again.... and today, yet again I'm in that very same state.... This is part of the reason for angst and why I always feel that my life is so complicated.... I've got a great (& demanding) job that I like... I like to write stuff to entertain the world (rant and rave, rather!).... and I've got this loose end of the professional qualification, which has so far stubbornly refused to be tied down.... It takes simply too much time and effort! ... and while having that professional qualification will not in any way suddenly fill me with divine wisdom or help me to become Superman and do my job faster or more efficiently, that piece of paper has the potential to make my life so much easier (... more money! ... better designation perhaps? ... ;) Amazing how important a professional qualfication is....!

(Public Service Message - So, kids, study as hard as you can... and accumulate all the degrees and qualifications as fast as you can... so that when you are 'old' like me ;) you won't have any loose ends to deal with.... and you will be free to concentrate on your job and other hobbies such as falling in love ;)

Today, by God's grace and mercy, at least a part of this loose end is now tied down... Yaah! :) I have cleared one of the two groups and have secured an exemption in one paper of the Second group. This means that I have clear 3 papers in May '06 exams and I will have that professional qualification I've struggled so hard to get.... God willing, in just a few months, I'll be a professional! ..... Pray for me world! I need all the help I can get....

Here are the marks I've secured.... they'll show how much I've struggled... and how today, God has been merciful once again....

May'04 Nov'04 May'05 Nov'05
===== ===== ===== =====
Accounts 36 34 36 57
Fin.Mgmt. 45 55 50 40
Audit 42 52 45 52
Law 45 45 50 51
====== === ==== =====
Gr.I Total 168 186 181 200
====== === ==== =====

May'04 Nov'04 May'05 Nov'05
===== ===== ===== =====
Costing 24 39 39 40
MICS 44 50 49 45
Direct Tax 51 56 38 45
IndirectTax 51 39 52 61
==== ==== ==== =====
Gr.II Total 170 184 178 191
==== ==== ==== ====

To get the professional qualification, one needs to pass both the groups.
To pass a group, one needs above 50% in the aggregate (ie. 200 marks out of 400 marks of the group total) and above 40% (i.e 40 marks out of 100 marks) in each subject.

So, even if you get above 40 in each subject, you'd fail to clear the group if you don't get a group total of at least 200. (See, how merciful God was? I got exactly 200 marks this time in the 1st group!)

As a consolation, if one gets above 60 marks in any subject, then he needn't give that paper in the next exam.

So, although I passed in all subjects of the 2nd group, I got just 191 as against the 200 marks required to clear the group. But, I still thank God that He gave me above 60 marks in one subject of the 2nd group. So, I just have to give 3 papers the next time.... With God's help and mercy, I should clear those 3 papers in May 06 and thereby come one step closer to a better life! .... Yaah! .... After the hectic way in which the new year started, this is indeed a great blessing and exactly the shot of confidence I needed at this point of time! ......

Guy-Girl friendship types

Today I received a really cool forward.... Kudos to the author... whoever he is... (I think a guy wrote it :) ... Here it is!

Guys and girls being "just" friends.
Not always easy, and sure as hell complicated at times.

But yet, its fun. There are things that you just don't talk about with your guy friends.
That's where the girl steps in, sweet, caring, sensitive - the little angels (hah!).

There's also a certain playful element to these friendships that you just can't have with people of the same sex.

Here are some of the types of friendships that exist between guys and girls.

1: The Appeaser friendship
This is when the guy is head over heals for the girl.
Worships the ground she walks on. Praises her all the time. Buys her gifts for no reason.
Loves to secretly smell her hair. Agrees with everything she says, and does everything in his power to see that she is happy.
Now and then gets a pat on the head in return.
Dreams of fathering her children - will never get farther than perhaps having to baby-sit them.
Might also have aspects of a Use-and-abuse friendship.

2: Leave-you-hanging friendship
Guy sees girl. Guy thinks girl is cute.
Guy becomes friends with girl. Guy tells girl his feelings for her.
Girl acts surprised. Girl might say "I'm not ready for a relationship right now".
Girl conveniently forgets to mention that she doesn\'t like him in that way, and never will for that matter.
Girl and guy still remain friends. Guy is hoping girl will eventually fall for him, or will become "ready" for a relationship. Never happens.
Girl is just happy with the attention he lavishes on her - ego boost.

3: The Missed-Chance friendship
Guy and girl are great friends. There always was a spark, the chemistry was there.
For reasons unknown to them, they always held a special place in each other's lives.
No one acted upon it though, and before you know it, girl gets married.
Guy is still friends with girl - thinks the world of her.
Friendship grows even stronger.

4: The Relationship-that's-not-quite-a-relationship friendship
Guy and girl think they are best friends.
While in fact, they are in a non-physical relationship.
They do everything a couple does. Go to movies together, have candle-light dinners, strolls on the beach, endless phone conversations etc etc.
But no one has admitted their feelings.
Both are in denial that there is anything but a friendship going on.
The rest of the world is sure they are going out.
For the life of them, they can't understand why.

5: The Use-and-abuse friendship
Guy is in love with girl.
Girl knows this and loves the power she has.
Takes advantage of poor guy, who is more than happy that he can be off service to her.
Girl uses guy cruelly, and the best part is, she gets him to 'volunteer' to do things for her. How?
"I have to drop off my dirty laundry to the laundromat. But I'm so tired. I wish I didn't have to go?" Followed by fluttering of the eyes.
Before you can say "use-and-abuse", guy is already racing to the laundromat with her clothes.

6: The Complain-a-friend friendship
This is where the girl only remembers the guy, when she needs to complain about something.
She calls him, or meets him, simply to vent her problems.
Guy may try to slip in something about himself, but girl is too self-absorbed to realise that, and brings the topic back to her problems.
Girl keeps guy in check by telling him what a great listener he is, and none of her other friends are like that.
Guy gets his doggy biscuit.

7: The By-my-rules-only friendship
This friendship can be in conjunction with any of the other type of friendships.
Girl will only meet guy on her terms.
Girl has full rights to cancel appointments that she made herself last minute.
Girl also doesn't need to return any calls made by the guy, but guy must be available at the snap of her fingers.
Guy should expect nothing, except what girl decides to offer him.
Take it or leave it.

8: The cozy friendship
This is when guy and girl are great friends.
They're totally comfortable in each other's company, and have deep respect and trust for each other.
They can speak their mind, and be at ease with silence.
They don't get overly emotional, and respect each others space and time.
Can talk about absolutely anything under the sun.Guy and girl don't think of each other in a romantic way - never crosses their mind.
Has the potential to become ugly if one of them does start developing feelings.

9: The Hit-and-run friendship
This is an explosive friendship.
Guy and girl become friends very quickly.
They spend an insane amount of time together, and really dig each other's company.
Guy thinks girl likes him, and is leading him on.
Makes his move and professes his love for her.
She runs like there is no tomorrow.

Appendix: The ex-lover friendship
This type of friendship doesn't exist. Don't fool yourselves.
A guy and girl can't be just friends if they had a history together.

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This was a real fun forward, and reminds me about the article I wrote ... http://anupr.blogspot.com/2005/12/loving-friend-recently-i-joked-that.html
I feel that more often than not, guys and girls can't really be just friends.... and having a checklist like in today's post (although humorously tackled) would help a lot of people to identify the kind of friendship they're in.... they could avoid the heartbreak that yours truly went through recently....

Looking back at my own friendship that went wrong, (although I never told her that I loved her romantically, and although I will never know whether my affection for her was within the boundaries of friendship), I think that based on the checklist on today's post, it would be the following mixture -
1: The Appeaser friendship
The guy is head over heals for the girl. Worships the ground she walks on. Praises her all the time. Agrees with everything she says, and does everything in his power to see that she is happy. Now and then gets a pat on the head in return. ....... (this just shows that I liked her very much and wanted to see her happy.... not that I loved her romantically! :)

8: The cozy friendship
The guy and girl are great friends. They're totally comfortable in each other's company, and have deep respect and trust for each other. They can speak their mind, and be at ease with silence. Can talk about absolutely anything under the sun. Has the potential to become ugly if one of them does start developing feelings. .....( read yesterday's post on how things really got ugly! :)

9: The Hit-and-run friendship
This is an explosive friendship. Guy and girl become friends very quickly. They really dig each other's company. Guy professes his love for her. She runs like there is no tomorrow. ..... (I'm sure the author was talking of the guy professing romantic love for the girl.... in my case I professed a strong sense of affection for the girl.... and it still had the same effect! She ran like there's no tommorow! :)

Hope u had a few laughs! Ciao! Anup ;)

Never confess.....

For those who want an update on how things are with my muse…(after the breakup in December)

Although we do see each other everyday on the daily commute, we no longer acknowledge each other. We don't sit adjacent to each other anymore and we are not on talking terms anymore. Suddenly there is a huge chasm between us, and neither of us seem inclined to bridge the divide.

I did apologize to her the first day we met in January, but was met with a look of utter disdain. That was the first time I ever saw her like that.... and it took a while for the shock to die and the hurt to set in..... but it still hurts every day that I see her.... every day that we pretend to be complete strangers.... every day that we maintain an awkward silence.... It's amazing how quickly things change.... nothing can ever be taken for granted.... I remember the times when the commute seemed so short, as we shared our opinions, fears, hopes and secrets..... now the commute seems endless..... without her laughter.... now the commute seems gloomy..... without her smile..... I feel all alone..... once again.....

(For the record, I’m sorry just for the hurt/betrayal she felt when I confessed my affection for her. I’m not at all sorry for having those feelings for her… after all, I never planned to care for her so much…. it just happened over time… and I have no control over who my heart chooses to like or dislike…)

I gave up trying to patch things up in a couple of days…. I’ve accepted the cruel facts…. She has made her choice…. She can’t come to terms with the fact that my affection for her may surpass the obscure boundaries of friendship….. So, she has walked away from it all…. without giving me a chance to explain….that I never expected anything more than her friendship…. I never wanted her to care for me more than she already did...... I just wanted to be her friend …. someone she could trust….. someone she could talk to....... but she no longer trusts me…… and she no longer talks to me...... So, she’ll never know exactly what she means to me…. Coz’ I’m
still in the process of figuring out exactly what she means to me…. I definitely care for her…. But I still don’t know how much…. so I don’t know if my affection for her is within the realms of friendship or not …… I’m still so damn confused!…..

But, one thing I'm sure of.... I'm not a bad person.... and I've not changed..... It's just her perception of me that's changed..... (and I accept that) ..... I've always been honest with her (I still am) .... I've always valued her above all other friends (I still do) ..... I've always treated her with respect (I still do) ..... and I've always wanted to see her happy (I still do) ..... As far as I know, my only mistake was confessing my affection for her.... But, so what it I developed affection for her? … Couldn’t she just let me be?….. Was it such a colossal crime? ….. Couldn’t she just accept the fact that I care for her and let things be? ….. After all, I only said what I did, as I know how fleeting life is.... I didn't know if I'd ever get the opportunity to say it again ..... and look how right I was!

But, I’m not gonna beat myself up over this any more…. I’m not going to dwell on this any more ….. I just want her to be happy….. so I’m gonna give her what she believes she needs…. space…. time… my farewell .... (time to change the timings of the commute, I guess!)

I consider myself blessed to just have known her... for spending as much time as I did with her.... and though she despises me, I still care for her.... and though she no longer considers me as her friend, I will still be a faithful friend to her..... she's still my muse.... my friend.... she'll live on in my memories.... my poems.... my prayers.....

Confess your love....

The following is a very beautiful forward received recently.... while it may hold true for some.... in my life..... it hasn't!.... yet! ;) .... My next post will highlight how things can go awry and life can turn u upside down.... just coz u were foolish enough to let someone know that u care....

Now, here's the forward....

10th Grade
==============
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that and I knew it.
After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don t want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
=============
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her.
She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.
She asked to come over because she didn't want to be alone, So I let her.....
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek..
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don t know why.

Senior year
=============
One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did.
That night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don t want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy,and I don't know why.

Graduation.
==========
One day passed, then a week, then a month.Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body floated like an angelup on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat,and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said- 'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Marriage.
========
I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now and will soon drive off to her new life, married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away,she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Death.
======
Years passed by...
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry she wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:"I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me ! .........

"I wish I did too...", I thought to my self, and I cried.......

***Do yourself a favour, tell her/him you love them. They won't be there......forever ***

-----
But, before you rush out and tell someone that you love them.... read the next post, think about the consequences, and then take your decision. But, I maintain that, family members should definitely be told of your affection for them.... of your love for them.... and of your gratefulness for their just being there for you.... there is absolutely no wrong that could ever come from that.... it's just when you rush out to confess your love for someone else.... that you need to be careful.... move on to the next post for details.....

I'll be gone for a while...

Well guys, I've got a bunch of exams lined up in Jan (almost every Sunday in Jan).... so I won't be able to blog as much as I'd like to.... God willing, I hope to return to active blogging in Feb.

But, till then, here's something that bothered me recently......

Yesterday, on New Year's eve at around 7.30 pm, a neighbour's married daughter passed away. She was just 26 years old. She'd lost her child to complications during the pregnancy, and was in a coma for a while. So, while the world was celebrating the advent of the new year, you can only imagine the grief her family was enduring.

I know that there will always be someone suffering, while some are rejoicing. Some will be going through the worst time of their lives, while others are at the peak of their success. That's just life... This earth is certainly no Paradise.... so we can never honestly expect every single person to be happy at any given point of time.... Having said that, you will ask - "You've stated the obvious..... so where are you going with this post?"

Just one thing actually...... As we all know how short and how unpredictable life is, I believe we must let the ones we care about.... that we do.... Sure, they probably may have figured it out by now,.... but as we can never know the number of days destined for us or for our loved ones, I believe that it's best if we let them know about our feelings today.... lest we miss the chance tommorow..... and regret it later.... At least it won't do any harm.....

I'm sure you've heard this many many times before..... but, I'm just hoping that this reaches someone who has not taken the step to let a dear one know.... that you care.....

Peace Out!
Anup
----
Some musings -

I lay it on the line always..... I'm frank.... often too frank for my own good :) .... and I tend to get a bit too emotional at times ..... I can't stand having people upset with me.... I love to make people smile and tend to go overboard to make people happy.... I'm not someone who likes to bottle up emotions... they come out.... plain as day on my face.... or as rantings n' ravings on the blog.... This is not a good combination! ..... I'm a bit extreme now.... will try and achieve a balance in life.... Well, at least I know my problems.... With God's help, I'll tackle them all.... one after another! ..... On to 2006! ........ CHARGE!!!